R is for Retro: Why I'm Not an Illustrator

The A to Z Challenge will make you do crazy things. Today, in an attempt to get some quick blog content up so I can focus on editing, I'm sharing some embarrassing childhood poetry I found over the weekend. With pictures!

I'm estimating this retro poetry to be from around third or fourth grade. Today's excerpt comes from my limited-edition, self-published (and self-crafted) book, Sea Poems.

Try not to be blown away by my cover art...

I'll set the stage for this work of pure poetic genius by sharing the illustration first. A few points of note:

• That is not a magic carpet. It's a beach towel.
• The snorkeler is wearing partially-drawn scuba equipment. I assure you this isn't a technical oversight but rather a philosophical statement about how doing things halfway will result in your demise. (Case in point: this man's snorkel did not extend beyond the water, and his only back-up plan was his incomplete scuba gear. I'm sorry to say he didn't make it.)
• Depth perception has never been my thing.

And now, the poem you've all been waiting for. This gem speaks for itself:

I'll leave you to wipe away the single tear that's rolling down your cheek. 

Happy Monday, everyone! Is it Z yet?